Cat Whiskers and Dead Babies
Hi, I'm Jen. This is my blog dedicated to Dan and Phil....those sexy mother fuckers... I write sometimes and if you read my phanfics, don't be afraid to give me feedback. I like knowing what you think of my stuff, whether it's good or bad. Also, I track the tag 'placentaandllamas' so if you want me to see something, tag me! :)xx

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Newest Fic: Coming of Age: Chapter 6

Track Title: My Dreams

Artist: Piano Music

Album: Piano Cover

(Press play before reading for greatest effect)

Warning: Death and suicide. May be triggering

He ran beside his best friend while he was wheeled into that white room. People held him back despite how loud he yelled or how many tears he shed. He wasn’t allowed to go in there: he could only watch the doctors trying to zap his best friend back to life. He watched his friend arch his back up, just to flop back down. He stood there begging, praying, that this one would do it. His friend would open his eyes, laugh it off and they could go back home. But that wasn’t the case. They gave up on him. They pulled that white sheet over his pale face.

“PHIL!” Dan shouted from behind the wall banging his fists into it.

Tears flooded out from his eyes unable to stop or be controlled.

“Sir, you’re going to have to calm down.” a nurse said holding onto Dan’s arm.

“Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down? My best friend died because of me!” Dan replied collapsing to the floor.

He closed his eyes, trying to get rid of those images. 

“Dan! Shut up!” Phil said laughing after Dan made another ‘your mum joke’.

Dan happily laughed with him taking a step on to the busy street not paying any attention that the light was changing.

“Dan! Watch it!” Phil screamed.

Dan turned to see a large truck coming towards him. Time seemed to stop. Just as Dan was about to accept his fate, he felt himself being pushed, falling onto the hard pavement. He turned around just in time to see Phil looking at him with worried eyes. Dan blinked and time sped up. Before he knew it, the truck slammed on the brakes on the opposite side of Phil while blood started filling around him everywhere. The ambulance was there in no time and rushed him in.

“Phil, I’m so sorry.” Dan whispered into his hands.

***

Days later
“Hey Internet. So I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors and I’m just here to clear everything up.”

Dan’s eyes held dark purple bags under them showing he hadn’t slept in days. His usually tan skin grew pale and his hair he used to fuss with all the time hung messily on his cheeks. He took a deep breath and continued.

“They’re true. Phil died. Because of me. I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was going. I should have been hit by that truck. Not him.”

His eyes glistened with fresh tears threatening to fall. He swallowed the lump in his throat and continued.

“Phil was an amazing person. He was my best friend in the whole world. I’ll keep his videos up so you can watch them. Hopefully he could put a smile on your face like he did with me.”

He looked at the wall to see a picture of Phil and him pulling funny faces. He smiled a little at the memory, then was quickly reminded that it would never happen again.

“This is my last video. I can’t do these anymore without Phil. But I love you guys so much. Always do nice things for each other. Help people when they need it. Have a sense of  humor and be able to laugh at yourself. Above all, don’t forget to smile. Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone should be happy. I love you. Bye guys.”

He said shutting off the camera and began uploading it. On the desk next to him was a box of painkillers and a plate of biscuits. He took a deep breath and shut his mind out before it could convince him to do anything else. He poured a ton of them in his hand and put them in his mouth then bit into a biscuit and began swallowing all of them.

“We are gathered here today to lay to rest Philip Lester and Daniel Howell, internet sensations and YouTube comedians. Best friends through life and death…”

posted 1 year ago with 846 notes

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    I’m not crying, my eyes are just sweating :’c
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    WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME
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